Twenty years after losing their husbands in a devastating air mishap, a group of military widows have turned remembrance into hope for over 40 other women.
For the women gathered to mark the 20th anniversary of the September 17, 2006 tragedy, remembrance was not about reopening old wounds. Instead, it became an opportunity to reach out to younger widows facing the same uncertain journey they once endured.
The women chose action instead of another day of mourning. They gathered through the Retired Army Officers Wives Association of Nigeria (REOWA) to support widows at 9 Brigade, Ikeja.
The empowerment programme provided food items, cash gifts and grinding machines to beneficiaries. For the organisers, the gesture was a way to transform two decades of grief into practical support for women now facing similar challenges.
Military Widows Turn Pain into Purpose
The initiative was organised by REOWA and led by its President, former Assistant Comptroller General of the Nigeria Immigration Service, Mrs. Doris Braimah. She was not speaking from a distance; she too had lived the pain of sudden loss, after her husband, Major General Yusuf J. Braimah, died in the September 17, 2006 air mishap.
Explaining how the initiative came about, Mrs. Braimah said about 13 women who were directly affected by the 2006 tragedy decided to mark the anniversary differently. Rather than gathering simply to mourn, they wanted their experience to benefit other families.
Mrs. Braimah, speaking at the remembrance and empowerment programme, gave the gathering its defining message: “Memorial is not just about remembering the past but securing the future for the families.” Video of Mrs. Briamah’s advise to military widow,
She said the group subsequently chose 9 Brigade, Ikeja, as the location for their outreach. The decision brought them face-to-face with younger military widows within the barracks.
“Today, by the grace of God, we’ve been able to empower about 40-something widows in this place,” Mrs. Braimah said.
The significance of the gesture went beyond the value of the items distributed. For the organisers, it was about helping younger women understand that losing a husband does not mean losing the possibility of rebuilding a family.
Her words captured the central purpose of the gathering.
After two decades of raising children, facing birthdays and graduations without their husbands, and navigating life after sudden loss, the widows were now extending what they had learned to younger women.
“Twenty years since we told our children daddy is not coming home,” Mrs. Braimah said, reflecting on the years since the tragedy.
She described the years that followed as a painful journey of raising children while carrying grief that never completely disappeared.
Yet, she said, those years had also brought healing and strength.
“Twenty years of proving that though we are broken, we were not destroyed,” she said.
That experience was the reason the older military widows chose to stand beside younger military wives who had recently lost their husbands. Mrs. Braimah told the beneficiaries that they were not alone because those before them had walked the same difficult road.
“We have walked this road. We have survived,” she said, encouraging the younger widows to believe that they too could rebuild their lives.
She particularly stressed the responsibility on military widows of caring for children, including their education and other needs. She also cautioned the beneficiaries against relying completely on promises of assistance from others.
“People may promise you things out of very good will and good intention,” she said. “But don’t forget they are humans.”
According to her, circumstances could change and prevent people from fulfilling their promises. She therefore encouraged the women to accept support while also working towards greater independence.
“I’ve advised the women, do not hold anybody at heart, but instead look forward to what we can do or they can do to enhance their lives,” she said.
Army Pledges Support for Military Widows
The Nigerian Army also pledged support for the initiative, military widows and the families affected by the loss of the officers.
The Chief of Army Staff, Lieutenant General Wahid Shaibu, was represented at the event by the General Officer Commanding 81 Division, Major General A.A. Babalola.
Delivering the Chief of Army Staff’s goodwill message, Major General Babalola said the Army appreciated the decision by the military widows to support other women through their experience.
He said the initiative provided support across physical, psychological and spiritual dimensions. He also assured the organisers that the Army would continue to support the initiative.
According to him, the Chief of Army Staff had directed that future editions should be formally communicated to him. This would enable him to provide support for the programme and its beneficiaries.
Major General Babalola announced a ₦2 million contribution from the Chief of Army Staff to support the families. He also announced a personal contribution of ₦1 million.
However, the GOC said financial assistance alone could not replace the need for long-term resilience and self-reliance.
Drawing from his own family experience, Major General Babalola recalled how his mother raised the family after losing his father. He used the experience to encourage the beneficiaries to begin with whatever resources were available to them.
“Nothing is too small. We start, and gradually we build it up,” he said.
His message reinforced the central idea behind the programme. Support can provide relief, but sustainable empowerment can give women another means of caring for their families.
For Some, A New Possibility
Apart from bags of rice, noodles and financial support, three grinding machines were raffled out. For one beneficiary, Mrs. Emike Lambert, the empowerment programme immediately created a new possibility for supporting her children.
Mrs. Lambert’s open reaction captured the personal significance of the intervention.
“I have another way of income to support my children,” Mrs. Lambert said, expressing gratitude for the opportunity.
She said the gesture left her almost speechless and praised the women who organised the programme for remembering the younger widows.
“We never knew they had us in their hearts,” she said.
Mrs. Lambert said the older women understood their struggles because they are experiencing widowhood themselves. Their advice, she added, gave younger widows encouragement to remain strong.
“These elderly ones among us, the elderly widows, because they passed through what we are passing through now, they know better,” she said.
For Mrs. Lambert, therefore, the grinding machine was more than an item received at an anniversary event. It represented another means of generating income while caring for her children.
She also prayed that other young women would not have to experience the pain of losing their husbands.
“I pray that there will not be a widow, young widow like me, again in their midst,” she said.
Her testimony gave a personal face to the wider purpose of the empowerment programme. While the anniversary recalled a tragedy from 20 years ago, the machine placed in her hands pointed towards what could happen next.
Remembering The Fallen Officers
The September 17, 2006 air mishap claimed the lives of several senior Nigerian Army officers and the flight crew.
Among those remembered were the then General Officer Commanding 81 Division, Major General J.O. Adesunloye; Chief of Policy and Plans, Major General S.O. Otubu; Chief of Administration, Major General S.M. Lemu; and GOC 2 Division, Major General A.N. Bamalli.
Others included Commandant Nigerian Army Signals, Major General P.M. Haruna; Chief of Army Standards and Evaluation, Major General J.T. Amedu; Commandant Ordnance Corps and Schools, Major General B. Duniya; Military Secretary, Major General J.O. Agbola; and Commandant 1 Brigade, Major General Y.J. Braimah.
Also remembered were Brigadier General M.B. Bawa, Coordinator Special Vehicle Plant, Bauchi; Lieutenant Colonel N.A. Mohammed, Directing Staff at the Armed Forces Command and Staff College, Jaji; Wing Commander S.S. Balogun, the pilot; and Wing Commander E.O. Adekunle, the co-pilot.
For their families, however, the names represent more than a list of officers lost in an air mishap. They represent husbands, fathers and providers whose sudden absence changed the lives of their families.
Among those at the remembrance was Alero Azazi, wife of the late National Security Adviser, Andrew Azazi. Senior Nigerian Army officers, retired officers’ wives.
Twenty years later, the pain of the 2006 tragedy remains part of the families’ history. Yet, the military widows who gathered to remember their husbands demonstrated another dimension of remembrance.
They chose to support women walking the road they once travelled.
For Mrs. Braimah, that is what gives the memorial its lasting meaning.
“Memorial is not about remembering the past but securing the future for the families,” she said.
The words captured the heart of the programme: remembrance through action, grief transformed into support, and experience converted into an opportunity for another widow to begin again.
